The Success Mystique
Success isn't scarce, it's everywhere!
Everyone is successful. Success is everywhere.
Think about it. Look around you. Look at your own life as an example. Where in your life do you think you are currently failing? Don't be ashamed to look at it and name it. We all have some area of our lives where we feel as if we haven't achieved what we wanted to, or are not doing as well as we would like.
Take the example of the person who is stuck in what they consider to be a dead-end job.
They wake up with no pep in their step, no joy in their heart, as they dress themselves for work. Every day feels like either drudgery or routine. It's not the worst job in the world they say to themselves. It pays the bills. It keeps the wolves from the door. It gets me out of the house.
Where is the success here? The success lies in our honest exploration.
The success in this instance is that this person values safety, above fulfilment. In seeking safety, they have successfully achieved what they were hoping for. Safety is the energy that drives them. The internal dialogue playing continuously from their subconscious mind might be:
I fear I'm not good enough to do anything else.
I doubt that I can change my circumstances for the better.
I'd rather have a job, than no job.
I'd rather stay and be unhappy in my situation than do the things necessary to change it.
My greatest desire is to feel safe and have some level of security. Even if that means that my life isn't even remotely fulfilling to me.
This person is very successful at playing it safe.
They are very successful at staying in an old, possibly familial, paradigm. They are very successful at setting limits to what they are capable of. They are very successful at justifying their unhappiness as the norm.
Success is whatever we're good at doing or being.
It is not always accompanied by a great feeling. It doesn't always feel good. It doesn't always serve us, but it is successful just the same. When you get that, when you begin to look at your life with honest eyes, you'll begin to see success everywhere.
What about the other end of the spectrum? The vastly successful businessman, who has his eye constantly on the prize?
He loves mergers and takeovers. He loves the art of the deal. He loves winning, and coming out on top. Clearly; he's a success by most measures. Does his need to see his profits grow endlessly not indicate success?
Does his focus on making money and lots of it, not indicate that he has a success gene right in the middle of his DNA?
Is he also successful, perhaps, at not looking at what drives him to pursue greater wealth? Is he also successful perhaps, at avoiding looking at how the system of more, more, more, might be impacting the world in not so nurturing ways? Is he also successful at defining success in limited ways?
Even success that feels good, that reflects how well we're doing by society's standards, also has not-so-good feelings, embedded in it. If that successful person is not willing to look at certain areas of their psyche, for fear of what they might find there, then they are also very successful at avoidance and deflection.
Success is everywhere. We just need to redefine it.
Once we see what success is – an outer expression of our inner world, beliefs, expectations and experiences, then we no longer need to see it as something difficult for us to attain. We begin to see that we are inherently successful beings. We are in fact, hard-wired for success.
Because we also need to address the elephant in the room, or at least in this article, let's also look at sexual exploitation, world hunger, inequality in earnings, no or little access to education, inadequate healthcare, wars, and global warming.
If we look at these events with honest eyes we see success here too.
The person born into an environment seemingly without opportunity to improve one's lot in life, how can they possibly be successful?
A war-torn country with bombs and drones, and people being killed all around you, communities and families being decimated, where could success be in this instance?
Again, it is an honest eye that can see that even when circumstances outside of the control of the person, are dictating their experience, that success is hiding somewhere.
What is it that causes that person to get up every day, even in the midst of war, atrocity, hunger, exploitation? What causes them to wake up and keep going?
For each person, it will be a different motivating force.
For some, it will be family. They have people they love and care for, who need them, who depend on them, and that will be their daily motivator. For others, it will be anger, resentment or resistance to their circumstances that drives them. For still others it will be hope, optimism, religious beliefs, faith, or the belief that things will change for the better, that gets them through the day, the hour, or the minute.
Every one of these drivers and motivating factors that cause that person to keep going, keep getting up, keep moving forward, keep resisting, keep fighting injustice, keep looking out for their families, and keep hoping, are also based on success.
They are successful at keeping going, having faith, resisting, or making their families the most important things in their lives. Each one's success shows up differently or looks different than another's.
Success is not a moral issue.
It is an indication, a pointer, to where your beliefs and your actions, align.
Everyone is successful at something—even those who successfully took their own lives - for want of a better term. When we look at their situation without moral indignation or the grief their actions may cause to others, we can see that success even appears in the most controversial decisions or behaviours.
I share this viewpoint not to seem without compassion or lacking in awareness of the inequalities and injustices in the world. It is precisely the opposite. I share this because I believe that when we get that we are all successful in many, many, ways, every single day of our lives; then we can step away from the success mystique.
Don't we secretly believe that there is some mystique to those we deem successful?
They have something that others lack. They have a specialness that we cannot attain. They have a focus that we could never emulate. They have that certain something that we only wish we had to the same degree.
So when we can acknowledge that we do indeed have all of those qualities to the same degree as anyone else, we are no longer limited in what success can look like for us. Yes, those inequalities, injustices and inequities will still exist. There will still be terrible acts taking place across the globe, alongside inspiring and life-affirming, acts.
But what will change - once we can acknowledge that success is everywhere, is that the energies of possibility, potential, what-ifs, and I wonder, can begin to take hold in our experience.
What if I didn't have to do everything on my own?
What if there was help available to me?
What if I was willing to look at the areas of my psyche that make me most uncomfortable, just to see what's going on?
What if I could be an inspiration to others?
What if I'm already, an inspiration to others?
What if I didn't need to keep proving my worth to others in some way?
What if I could go back to school?
What if I could make a difference in some way, even in the worst circumstances?
What if I have the success gene right in the middle of my DNA too?
What if you could accept that success is everywhere, all the time?
Especially in your own life. What then becomes possible for you? What would you stop avoiding? What would you try? What would you be willing to change? What would you be willing to live for, rather than die for, and how would you then live your life?
If you’d like to be reminded about just how successful you can be and have been in your life, why not book a Free Discovery Session with me to tap into your version of success?